Anger's Best Remedy

Using a basic principle to control conflict responses.

“Delay is the greatest remedy for anger.”

—Seneca

I recently noticed this excerpt from our local youth soccer club’s posted “parent policy”:

DO NOT contact your coach or director until 24 hours after a game/training ends if there is an issue to discuss. Approaching the coach while frustrated never helps. Please be courteous and respectful.

Putting aside concerns about why such a directive is needed in the first place — this is about kids playing soccer! — let’s focus on the policy’s broader principle. The message is consistent with Seneca’s observation that we can quell anger by allowing the passage of time.

And this point is one we can use to help manage daily conflict of all sorts. Because here’s the problem: When anger overtakes you, making logical, sound decisions is virtually impossible.

When engaged in conflict, we’re going to get angry sometimes. It happens. As a mediator, I see this regularly in professional negotiation settings. People disagree about the facts underlying a legal …