Own the Problem, Create the Solution

Reframing negotiation obstacles is a critical step.

Photo by Tim Collins on Unsplash

“We are too much accustomed to attribute to a single cause that which is the product of several, and the majority of our controversies come from that.”

— Marcus Aurelius

“That’s not my problem.”

Whenever I hear this phrase at mediation, I know we have some serious work to do as negotiators. The chances of two parties reaching a consensual agreement remain slim until the players understand that if one party has a problem, everyone has a problem.

“The plaintiff has $100,000 in outstanding medical bills, and what you’re offering doesn’t cover even half of that.”

“Not my problem,” says defense counsel.

“You’re asking the business owner to pay an amount he simply doesn’t have. He’s already filed for bankruptcy and lost his life savings.”

“That’s not our problem,” quips the plaintiff’s attorney.

“The injured worker is so angry about being fired and absolutely hates her boss. Her husband is very emotional, too, and they feel completely betrayed.”

You guessed it. “Too b…