Don't Let Them Rattle You!

Instead, keep cool and get more of what you need in negotiations.

Photo by Rodrigo Curi on Unsplash

“If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation.” — Epictetus

I went to pick up dinner with one of my kids the other night, and the restaurant’s kitchen was ridiculously backed up. It had been a long day, our food was supposed to have been ready at 8 p.m., but by 8:30 the to-go server could only apologize.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” she said sincerely. “We’re short-staffed tonight, and I’ve been checking on your order. Thank you for being so patient. It should be out soon, and I’ll let you know right away.”

The server was nice enough, but my patience was running thin. My family was hungry, it was a school night, and the apologies and explanations help only so much. I wanted to tell the woman — again — how long the kids had been waiting, how inexplicable the wait seemed, and how frustrated we were. But what would that have accomplished?

At that moment, I reminded myself, there’s only so much we can control. Losing my …