Who's in Control Here?

Control is a powerful negotiation commodity. Are you using it wisely?

Photo by Julius Drost on Unsplash

“The ultimate form of domination is to make those on the other side think they are the ones in control.”

—Robert Greene

In our last post, we discussed the foundational principle of Stoicism that M. Night Shyamalan highlighted in his inspirational 2018 graduation address to the students of Drexel University. That principle, a central teaching of the Stoics:

Separate what you can control from what you cannot, and focus on the former.

The “dichotomy of control” leaves college graduates — and negotiators, too — a critical framework to help guide our decision-making.

Bargaining for Control

How do we employ this powerful lens in everyday negotiation settings? Let’s explore a couple of strategic and tactical points that draw on the vital control concept Epictetus laid out.

We’d noted previously that in negotiations, often people become fixated on things that happened in the past, and who did what to whom, and it eats at them to the point that they’re unable to mak…