“When two people believe opposite things, chances are that one of them is wrong. It pays to find out if that someone is you,” advises billionaire investment guru Ray Dalio.
When you find yourself disagreeing with someone, or in the midst of a dispute, seek objectivity. Is there an objectively right or wrong answer to the subject of your disagreement? Or is your dispute a matter of opinion, such that neither side is correct or incorrect, and both viewpoints are worthy of consideration?
When acting as a neutral mediator, I try to help people to see the other side of the proverbial coin, so they can more accurately and objectively assess the facts and law underlying a case. Even in less formal settings, and also in our personal lives, it pays to engage your “inner mediator” and seek out objective perspectives.
People occasionally can believe opposite things and both be right. They can disagree on certain points but still find enough on which they can agree so that their dispute is resolvable and the conflict ultimately disappears.
At other times, though, when two people believe opposite things, what if they are both wrong, in whole or in part? Or, rather, what if neither side is 100% right?
There are at least two sides to every story. An objective viewpoint often yields insight beyond our reflexive, yes-or-no, black-and-white ways of thinking.
Next time you find yourself ensnared in a disagreement with someone holding a strongly opposite view: (1) consider that if one of you is right, chances are the other is wrong (then, can you objectively determine which is which?); and (2) if you can stretch even further beyond your personal beliefs, consider whether a third or fourth possibility exists – that either both of you are partly right, or neither is completely right.
In other words: Consider that between greatly different and competing viewpoints, the “truth” – or, at least, a more objective solution – often lies somewhere in between.
Frequently, accurate assessment of the most likely outcome will lie not in the blacks or whites, but in the shades of gray.
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